New Mom Mysteries

A friend of mine, who is a new mom, feels like us veteran moms let her down a little. She is barely three months postpartum and is going through those crazy hormonal swings that we all have experienced. She says that we didn't tell her. She asked me to blog about all the things veteran moms don't tell their friends who are preggers with baby number one. I agreed, but I do contest: We told her, she just didn't believe us. (Or, our brains blocked out some of the particularly challenging moments and we honestly did forget. Most likely, a little of both.)

This friend, let's call her "Erica", is baffled by her body, saying things like "The baby is out, why should my hormones not be back to normal!", and gems like "I didn't think it would take SO LONG to feel like myself again." I know, I know, try to keep reading through your laughter induced tears as you remember how sleepless and haggard you were when your first born was 11 weeks old.

So, pregnant and new moms, this list is for you. If you are squeamish, skip to #8!

1. Childbirth hurts - no matter how many hippy-dippy names you give a contraction, it still hurts
2. You will bleed after delivery. For a long time. (Erica was shocked at this little truth!)
3. Stitches in your nether regions are not pleasant.
4. You will be so agog over your new little creature that you will not really care about 1-3.
5. The high wears off and you will be more tired than you have ever been in your life.
6. You will be tempted to lie to your husband after your six week checkup and tell him that you were not given the all clear.
7. When you give you husband the all clear, sex will not be the same. (But it will get better!)
8. Your body will continue to bear the telltale signs of having borne a child - stretch marks and a pooch, long after you give birth. It is nine months for your body to gestate, it is at least nine months before your body will be "fully recovered".
9. "Normal" will never be, what "normal" was before you had a baby.
10. You will never look at the world the same way once you meet your baby face to face. Every news story involving a child will evoke in you a deep compassion and empathy like you have never been capable of before.

The biggest truth about having a child, and the most difficult to explain, is this: as much as you love your husband, parents and friends, there is NO love like a mother feels for her child. It literally takes my breath away. God has surely made our capacity for love greater because we are mothers. There would be no way that a mere human could feel the depths of this maternal love without divine grace.

"Erica", I hope that I have done well by you and all the other new or pregnant moms out there! Moms, post your comments about what surprised you most about pregnancy and becoming a mom!

Lord, Thank you for the blessing of my children. Please help me each day to be the mother you desire me to be for them. Give me the grace to replace impatience with patience, frustration with kindness and gentleness, and exhaustion with energy. Send your Holy Spirit to dwell in our home and in our hearts. Amen. Mary, Holy Mother, pray for us.