Hello Hot Mamas! Long time, no write! It seems like the days are shorter and busier during the Fall. We are progressing well with home schooling and I will be posting some of our most successful lessons in the near future. But let's move on to what's really on my mind tonight!
We live in a small house. 6 people, 1280 square feet, no basement. That doesn't leave a lot of room for storage, toys, clothes, guests...the list could go on and on. I usually find myself in a continuous cycle of purging and organizing. I must admit that there are days when I feel physically and emotionally squeezed. I go through times of acceptance, where I look at rooms anew and try to make them more practical and usable. Recently however, I have been in a state of agitation over our lack of space. The kids are getting bigger, their need for quiet time away from each other is getting more evident. I find myself irritated that we are very simply, out of space and that lack of space is affecting each family member in some way.
I'm sure that many of you out there have similar stories and feelings about your homes. So let's make a pact: until it is time for a bigger house, let's promise to intentionally enjoy the hidden benefits of our small homes! What benefits?! Ok, there are some days when it is difficult to find ANY. But, think of how creative we have become in our storage solutions. I know that I have had to stretch my imagination to figure out just the right way to divide a wall for shelving, how to transform our garage into a playroom, and how to fit THREE kids in a 10x12 bedroom. This sort of creative thinking is what will keep our brains young Mamas! And although my kids do enjoy time to themselves occassionally, our small house has aided them in becoming great play buddies and put all of us in a position to share common space quite frequently. It has allowed us to get to know each other in a way that a bigger house might not have encouraged.
I know that you can come up with some highlights of your own. Let me know what they are and let's help each other be at peace with the houses we have! God is faithful and he will show us the way that is best for our family. He knows our deepest desires and what breeds them. Let's lean on Him and each other for joy and gratitude when the walls seem just a little too close!
Lord, thank you for the home that we have. Lead us to a home that will better suit our needs and give us the patience to wait until the time is right for a move. Lead us to the right home and help our hearts to be open to your whisper. You are faithful and good. Help us to remember that you will give us our daily bread. Allow us to be examples of gratitude to our children. Mary, Holy Mother, pray for us. Amen
Showing posts with label motherhood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label motherhood. Show all posts
Friday, November 6, 2009
Friday, September 11, 2009
Why home schooling?
My oldest child is 5. He began kindergarten this year! For us, there were no gut wrenching moments at the bus stop, anxious breakfasts wondering how he will do in a new setting, or tears as we left him at a school building. There was a week of reminders that school would start on Tuesday and reviews of how our schedule and house rules would change. The first morning of school brought about excitement and smiles and "Bibles with Breakfast". We are a home schooling family.
Day one included coloring and scissors and glue and pencil work. It also included measuring and science and following directions as we baked fresh potato bread for the first time. We learned about yeast and what "1/2" means on the half cup measuring cup. It was a good day.
Many people have recently asked me "Why are you home schooling?" A lot of our acquaintances assume that my children's life threatening food allergies are the reason. While it certainly tipped the scales, home schooling was always an option my husband and I considered. Truth be told, my husband was the one convincing me early on in our marriage that home schooling was the way to go. As a public school teacher, I felt a little like a traitor supporting home schooling as a viable choice. The full answer to "Why home schooling?" is complicated. So, here we go:
1. We want our children to be able to think for themselves. Unfortunately, we live in a standardized test driven educational society. Teachers are not allowed to truly teach to the interests and strengths of the students in their classes. By virtue of the rigorous testing schedule that NYS has set in place, teachers have little choice but to teach to the test. We don't want this for our children. We want them to love to learn and to learn to think critically. We want to teach to life, not to the test. (I would bet that most teachers would like to do this too, if NYS ever got out of their way.) When I taught 12th grade, I was appalled at the number of my students who simply couldn't think their way through an assignment. If it wasn't in the specific form of a regents task, they did not know what to do with the question. Scary.
2. We want our kids to be kids. The current curriculum / testing schedule leaves scant room for learning through play. Just because we can teach something at a young age does not mean that we should. Children develop at different rates and there is a surprisingly large range of "normal" that is not accounted for by most public/private school curriculum schedules. While we want our children to do well academically, we also recognize that the "push, push, push" mentality of many schools does not allow them time to enjoy childhood. We also want to limit exposure to that which we find morally questionable or offensive or cause our children to "grow up" too quickly. This is a tender age and God has entrusted our children to us. Protecting their innocence and youth is important to us as a family.
3. Life threatening food allergies are scary and serious business. I have heard too many horror stories from allergy moms regarding schools and epi-pens to count. Until my kids are old enough to carry the epi, self-administer and call 911 (or get someone to), they stick close to me. Period, end of story. As I said, this was the clincher. Home schooling was always on the table. I would like to think that we would have prayerfully chosen home schooling on our own, without health concerns playing a role. I honestly don't know if that is true. The allergies have caused us to be bolder in our choices for our children than we might have been. Every event, sport joined, family outing attended is carefully, meticulously planned and considered. We are deliberate in what we choose to participate in and what situations we put our children in. I am blessed that God has shown Himself time and time again in our lives in this arena.
So, for all of you wondering "why", I hope this is an answer. I just ask you to really begin to consider "why" you make the choices you do for your family. Is God calling you to be bold in some area of your life? Answer Him, listen to Him. He is faithful and with His grace, you can do anything He calls you to.
Lord, bless this journey that we are taking. You are wise and I pray that you bless mothers everywhere with the wisdom to do your will in their families. Amen.
Day one included coloring and scissors and glue and pencil work. It also included measuring and science and following directions as we baked fresh potato bread for the first time. We learned about yeast and what "1/2" means on the half cup measuring cup. It was a good day.
Many people have recently asked me "Why are you home schooling?" A lot of our acquaintances assume that my children's life threatening food allergies are the reason. While it certainly tipped the scales, home schooling was always an option my husband and I considered. Truth be told, my husband was the one convincing me early on in our marriage that home schooling was the way to go. As a public school teacher, I felt a little like a traitor supporting home schooling as a viable choice. The full answer to "Why home schooling?" is complicated. So, here we go:
1. We want our children to be able to think for themselves. Unfortunately, we live in a standardized test driven educational society. Teachers are not allowed to truly teach to the interests and strengths of the students in their classes. By virtue of the rigorous testing schedule that NYS has set in place, teachers have little choice but to teach to the test. We don't want this for our children. We want them to love to learn and to learn to think critically. We want to teach to life, not to the test. (I would bet that most teachers would like to do this too, if NYS ever got out of their way.) When I taught 12th grade, I was appalled at the number of my students who simply couldn't think their way through an assignment. If it wasn't in the specific form of a regents task, they did not know what to do with the question. Scary.
2. We want our kids to be kids. The current curriculum / testing schedule leaves scant room for learning through play. Just because we can teach something at a young age does not mean that we should. Children develop at different rates and there is a surprisingly large range of "normal" that is not accounted for by most public/private school curriculum schedules. While we want our children to do well academically, we also recognize that the "push, push, push" mentality of many schools does not allow them time to enjoy childhood. We also want to limit exposure to that which we find morally questionable or offensive or cause our children to "grow up" too quickly. This is a tender age and God has entrusted our children to us. Protecting their innocence and youth is important to us as a family.
3. Life threatening food allergies are scary and serious business. I have heard too many horror stories from allergy moms regarding schools and epi-pens to count. Until my kids are old enough to carry the epi, self-administer and call 911 (or get someone to), they stick close to me. Period, end of story. As I said, this was the clincher. Home schooling was always on the table. I would like to think that we would have prayerfully chosen home schooling on our own, without health concerns playing a role. I honestly don't know if that is true. The allergies have caused us to be bolder in our choices for our children than we might have been. Every event, sport joined, family outing attended is carefully, meticulously planned and considered. We are deliberate in what we choose to participate in and what situations we put our children in. I am blessed that God has shown Himself time and time again in our lives in this arena.
So, for all of you wondering "why", I hope this is an answer. I just ask you to really begin to consider "why" you make the choices you do for your family. Is God calling you to be bold in some area of your life? Answer Him, listen to Him. He is faithful and with His grace, you can do anything He calls you to.
Lord, bless this journey that we are taking. You are wise and I pray that you bless mothers everywhere with the wisdom to do your will in their families. Amen.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Public Displays of affection - Strangers and kids
Okay, I'm going to try to write this post in as kind and tactful a manner as possible. Strangers: don't touch my kids! Don't tickle their feet, don't pinch their cheeks, don't grab for my infant's hands!!!! Well-meaning-Grandmas-who-are-in-no-way-related-to-me-or-my-children - THIS MEANS YOU!
Ummm, okay, so much for kindness and tact. In all seriousness, however, this is becoming increasingly irritating on my daytime trips to the grocery store or Target. Let's face it, the people who are shopping at these institutions in the middle of the day are moms and retired folks. Now, I realize that we are supposed to act in a Christian manner toward our bothers and sisters in Christ. This is a tough act to balance while also trying to teach your children stanger safety.
I don't mean to sound like a crab, and maybe I am just having one of "those" mommy days, but I'm getting tired of the following two comments: "Are they all yours?" and "You must be busy!". Yes and yes, people. Yes, I have four adorable, well behaved children who are close in age and I know that when I take them all somewhere with me, we are quite a darling sight to behold. This is not, however, an open invitation for people to come up and touch them in some manner. Add into this scenario the very real threat that their food allergies pose and going out has become rather stressful. Imagine if grandma-we-don't-know has just finished some peanut-butter crackers and she touches my child before I can stop her. The rest of our day will be spent in the emergency room!
There are some days when I just need to get in and get out of wherever we are. I do not necessarily have time or the inclination to tell a stanger all of my children's names and ages! This simply makes me uncomfortable. I am generally a pretty friendly person. I like to be around people and I consider myself to be fairly kind and generous. I would hope that those who know me would agree. I also feel a stong need to keep my children safe from all the creeps out there. Because you can't tell a "bad apple" from the outside, I need to be a good example to my kids in regards to stranger safety.
Okay, this post is more of a rant, and I realize that it is more negative than positive, which is not my intent on this blog. I just really needed to vent about feeling like people don't respect your privacy if you have a large family. Maybe the age of reality TV has entitled people to think that if you match a profile, your business is their business. So, thanks moms for giving me space to vent today!
Lord, give me space to breathe so that I may better prepare my kids for the world at large. Help me to balance an awareness of the evil that does prowl our world, with a kindness toward others. Grant me and my family the gift of discernment to be able to see the good and evil in the world around us and the humility to respond appropriately. Thank you Lord, for my family. Please hold us in the palm of your hand. Amen.
Ummm, okay, so much for kindness and tact. In all seriousness, however, this is becoming increasingly irritating on my daytime trips to the grocery store or Target. Let's face it, the people who are shopping at these institutions in the middle of the day are moms and retired folks. Now, I realize that we are supposed to act in a Christian manner toward our bothers and sisters in Christ. This is a tough act to balance while also trying to teach your children stanger safety.
I don't mean to sound like a crab, and maybe I am just having one of "those" mommy days, but I'm getting tired of the following two comments: "Are they all yours?" and "You must be busy!". Yes and yes, people. Yes, I have four adorable, well behaved children who are close in age and I know that when I take them all somewhere with me, we are quite a darling sight to behold. This is not, however, an open invitation for people to come up and touch them in some manner. Add into this scenario the very real threat that their food allergies pose and going out has become rather stressful. Imagine if grandma-we-don't-know has just finished some peanut-butter crackers and she touches my child before I can stop her. The rest of our day will be spent in the emergency room!
There are some days when I just need to get in and get out of wherever we are. I do not necessarily have time or the inclination to tell a stanger all of my children's names and ages! This simply makes me uncomfortable. I am generally a pretty friendly person. I like to be around people and I consider myself to be fairly kind and generous. I would hope that those who know me would agree. I also feel a stong need to keep my children safe from all the creeps out there. Because you can't tell a "bad apple" from the outside, I need to be a good example to my kids in regards to stranger safety.
Okay, this post is more of a rant, and I realize that it is more negative than positive, which is not my intent on this blog. I just really needed to vent about feeling like people don't respect your privacy if you have a large family. Maybe the age of reality TV has entitled people to think that if you match a profile, your business is their business. So, thanks moms for giving me space to vent today!
Lord, give me space to breathe so that I may better prepare my kids for the world at large. Help me to balance an awareness of the evil that does prowl our world, with a kindness toward others. Grant me and my family the gift of discernment to be able to see the good and evil in the world around us and the humility to respond appropriately. Thank you Lord, for my family. Please hold us in the palm of your hand. Amen.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
New Mom Mysteries
A friend of mine, who is a new mom, feels like us veteran moms let her down a little. She is barely three months postpartum and is going through those crazy hormonal swings that we all have experienced. She says that we didn't tell her. She asked me to blog about all the things veteran moms don't tell their friends who are preggers with baby number one. I agreed, but I do contest: We told her, she just didn't believe us. (Or, our brains blocked out some of the particularly challenging moments and we honestly did forget. Most likely, a little of both.)
This friend, let's call her "Erica", is baffled by her body, saying things like "The baby is out, why should my hormones not be back to normal!", and gems like "I didn't think it would take SO LONG to feel like myself again." I know, I know, try to keep reading through your laughter induced tears as you remember how sleepless and haggard you were when your first born was 11 weeks old.
So, pregnant and new moms, this list is for you. If you are squeamish, skip to #8!
1. Childbirth hurts - no matter how many hippy-dippy names you give a contraction, it still hurts
2. You will bleed after delivery. For a long time. (Erica was shocked at this little truth!)
3. Stitches in your nether regions are not pleasant.
4. You will be so agog over your new little creature that you will not really care about 1-3.
5. The high wears off and you will be more tired than you have ever been in your life.
6. You will be tempted to lie to your husband after your six week checkup and tell him that you were not given the all clear.
7. When you give you husband the all clear, sex will not be the same. (But it will get better!)
8. Your body will continue to bear the telltale signs of having borne a child - stretch marks and a pooch, long after you give birth. It is nine months for your body to gestate, it is at least nine months before your body will be "fully recovered".
9. "Normal" will never be, what "normal" was before you had a baby.
10. You will never look at the world the same way once you meet your baby face to face. Every news story involving a child will evoke in you a deep compassion and empathy like you have never been capable of before.
The biggest truth about having a child, and the most difficult to explain, is this: as much as you love your husband, parents and friends, there is NO love like a mother feels for her child. It literally takes my breath away. God has surely made our capacity for love greater because we are mothers. There would be no way that a mere human could feel the depths of this maternal love without divine grace.
"Erica", I hope that I have done well by you and all the other new or pregnant moms out there! Moms, post your comments about what surprised you most about pregnancy and becoming a mom!
Lord, Thank you for the blessing of my children. Please help me each day to be the mother you desire me to be for them. Give me the grace to replace impatience with patience, frustration with kindness and gentleness, and exhaustion with energy. Send your Holy Spirit to dwell in our home and in our hearts. Amen. Mary, Holy Mother, pray for us.
This friend, let's call her "Erica", is baffled by her body, saying things like "The baby is out, why should my hormones not be back to normal!", and gems like "I didn't think it would take SO LONG to feel like myself again." I know, I know, try to keep reading through your laughter induced tears as you remember how sleepless and haggard you were when your first born was 11 weeks old.
So, pregnant and new moms, this list is for you. If you are squeamish, skip to #8!
1. Childbirth hurts - no matter how many hippy-dippy names you give a contraction, it still hurts
2. You will bleed after delivery. For a long time. (Erica was shocked at this little truth!)
3. Stitches in your nether regions are not pleasant.
4. You will be so agog over your new little creature that you will not really care about 1-3.
5. The high wears off and you will be more tired than you have ever been in your life.
6. You will be tempted to lie to your husband after your six week checkup and tell him that you were not given the all clear.
7. When you give you husband the all clear, sex will not be the same. (But it will get better!)
8. Your body will continue to bear the telltale signs of having borne a child - stretch marks and a pooch, long after you give birth. It is nine months for your body to gestate, it is at least nine months before your body will be "fully recovered".
9. "Normal" will never be, what "normal" was before you had a baby.
10. You will never look at the world the same way once you meet your baby face to face. Every news story involving a child will evoke in you a deep compassion and empathy like you have never been capable of before.
The biggest truth about having a child, and the most difficult to explain, is this: as much as you love your husband, parents and friends, there is NO love like a mother feels for her child. It literally takes my breath away. God has surely made our capacity for love greater because we are mothers. There would be no way that a mere human could feel the depths of this maternal love without divine grace.
"Erica", I hope that I have done well by you and all the other new or pregnant moms out there! Moms, post your comments about what surprised you most about pregnancy and becoming a mom!
Lord, Thank you for the blessing of my children. Please help me each day to be the mother you desire me to be for them. Give me the grace to replace impatience with patience, frustration with kindness and gentleness, and exhaustion with energy. Send your Holy Spirit to dwell in our home and in our hearts. Amen. Mary, Holy Mother, pray for us.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
New mom memories
I spoke with a friend of mine who is a new mom. Her baby is 6 weeks old and they have been through breastfeeding nightmares together. Mom developed a MRSA infection in her breast, had to have surgery and still persevered in order to pump and bottle feed. Yet, Mom told me tonight that she "feels like a failure as a mother".
She said she is "so tired" and barely has time to brush her teeth, let alone sleep when the baby sleeps, as so often is the advice doled out to new parents. "I wish she could just tell me what she needs!" she sighed as the baby fussed in the background. I was immediately reminded of my days as a new mom. (I now have four kids and that blessed memory blurring of the late night feedings and zombie-like new mom state.)
New moms, let me say this to you: things will get clearer. You will be able to decipher your baby's cries . You will get sleep someday. You will wear makeup again and recognize that woman in the mirror as the savvy, classy gal that you are. In the meantime, ask for help, accept help that is offered, sleep when your husband will let you (because he needs to bond with the baby too), and remember that God is with you every moment. He has gifted you with this little crying bundle because He believed, in all His wisdom, that YOU were the best choice for your child.
Lord, let me listen with your ears to the needs of my children. Give me the grace to be the mother You desire me to be. You, Lord, are my strength. Lend me your patience. Thank you for the life you have given me. Amen
She said she is "so tired" and barely has time to brush her teeth, let alone sleep when the baby sleeps, as so often is the advice doled out to new parents. "I wish she could just tell me what she needs!" she sighed as the baby fussed in the background. I was immediately reminded of my days as a new mom. (I now have four kids and that blessed memory blurring of the late night feedings and zombie-like new mom state.)
New moms, let me say this to you: things will get clearer. You will be able to decipher your baby's cries . You will get sleep someday. You will wear makeup again and recognize that woman in the mirror as the savvy, classy gal that you are. In the meantime, ask for help, accept help that is offered, sleep when your husband will let you (because he needs to bond with the baby too), and remember that God is with you every moment. He has gifted you with this little crying bundle because He believed, in all His wisdom, that YOU were the best choice for your child.
Lord, let me listen with your ears to the needs of my children. Give me the grace to be the mother You desire me to be. You, Lord, are my strength. Lend me your patience. Thank you for the life you have given me. Amen
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Glue Still Wet!!!
Well hot mamas, the spaghetti yarn bowls have not yet been deemed a success. The glue is STILL wet!
In other news, my oldest son just got his first "big boy" bike with training wheels. Thus far he's had tricycles and a kettle car "pedal go-kart". To see him on a big boy bike was amazing! He wiped out three or four times trying to make the turn onto the sidewalk, but he just hopped back on and tried again. I am so proud of the little boy he is becoming and yet I am teary when I look hard and can't see any baby left in him. I hope I have the strength to let him "wipeout" and pick himself up, while I stand ready to help should he need it. I pray that he meets life's challenges with the enthusiasm he showed getting back on that new bike. I'm so grateful for the gifts that God has given me and my husband in our children. This morning, as I hear the sound of Geotracks coming from across the hall, I am deeply thankful for my family. (Even though the glue hasn't dried on those darn yarn bowls!)
Hot mamas, go hug your kids. No matter the messes they make, the tantrums they throw, they are gifts to you, entrusted to your care because God thought YOU would be the best mom for them.
In other news, my oldest son just got his first "big boy" bike with training wheels. Thus far he's had tricycles and a kettle car "pedal go-kart". To see him on a big boy bike was amazing! He wiped out three or four times trying to make the turn onto the sidewalk, but he just hopped back on and tried again. I am so proud of the little boy he is becoming and yet I am teary when I look hard and can't see any baby left in him. I hope I have the strength to let him "wipeout" and pick himself up, while I stand ready to help should he need it. I pray that he meets life's challenges with the enthusiasm he showed getting back on that new bike. I'm so grateful for the gifts that God has given me and my husband in our children. This morning, as I hear the sound of Geotracks coming from across the hall, I am deeply thankful for my family. (Even though the glue hasn't dried on those darn yarn bowls!)
Hot mamas, go hug your kids. No matter the messes they make, the tantrums they throw, they are gifts to you, entrusted to your care because God thought YOU would be the best mom for them.
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